Monday 28 June 2010

Withering rose


It makes me angry to watch the colour fade from my TV
I’m watching you in black and white
And I cant change the channel

Looking out the window at you
The rose in my withered garden, full and red
Your outshining the weeds in my garden, but I can see the frost coming

I cant help but cry
Frustrated at watching you like this, helpless to aid you
I’m the stranger in the street walking by and watching you fall

You hold the key to my heart in your hand
I hold out my hand for eternity, withering in the sun
I cant take any more and I wont, I want to give but you don’t take

Seasons pass and you don’t bloom
My garden stays withered and weeded with you in the centre no different
Sitting on my couch banging the TV trying to get some colour
Watering the garden, working my blood and sweat into the soil for nothing to happen

Why wont anything work?
I’m getting so tired and all I want to do is sleep
When I wake up will it be back to normal
Will the hands of time rewind and make it all right?

I miss it all and I don’t want to take back what was mine

Lying in my garden waiting for spring to come
Waiting for your frost to leave
Wishing that the crow will take my eyes away

I cant watch you fade away
I cant stand by while I’m pushed out
I cant stand by when I’m not let in

Its not enough!


I love you,
I love you but its not enough

I’ve loved you since I saw you
I loved you when you held my hand
When you told me it would be ok
When you hid my face from the demons

I love you but its not enough
Its not enough to feed of your love
I need more from you than just this

How can I tell you this
That all you do is give me love
That there is nothing else
It pains me to be thinking this

I need your hand to pull me up
I need you to see what I see
I need for you to feel with me
I need your love but I need more

When you hold my hand I’m lifted up
When you open your eyes I’m no longer alone
When you feel with me I tingle all over
When I love, my love is for you

I was blessed when you walked into my life
More than you can understand
I cant thank you more for what you have given me

Soon I need to make a journey
And I need you, I need you more than any one
Please give me more than just love

Help me sleep at night
Hold me tight and walk with me in the morning
Let the sun shine on us

Its us against the world my darling
don’t leave me sitting out in the rain

What makes us human?


What is it that makes us human? We are born into this world, through other peoples pain, choice and much more. We age, and with time we experience, experience the good, bad, beautiful and horrific. We age, and the rest of the world sees it. Our family and our friends, even the strangers that pass us by. We go on this same cycle where we all take the similar path to the people before. But what is it that makes us human? No matter what choices we make are we human?

Is it that makes us human the ability to make our own choices? Is it that we can walk on two legs? Is it that we can speak. What is the definition of human, or is it in fact a loosely applied definition to a large entity that populated this world.

People tell me that we are human, we are all human. We are this because we are able to choose what we do, what we think. Control our own actions. But why then is the human race such a horrible race. That we can supposedly control out actions and yet we aren’t in control. Blame others for our actions, destroy everything in our path. couldn’t care less about the person sitting next to you.

Does it mean to be human, to destroy everything and hardly care, to care when it doesn’t matter any more. What does really make us human??

Tick tock


Sitting here as the clock ticks, hearing every tick that goes by.
Filled with emptiness as though something cracked and leaked away
Why is it that we get these feeling from such trivial things

Is it our past that fuels us
Fuels us to feel over dramatised feelings about little events
Or is it that our past needs us to rely on small trivial things to survive

We survive in strange ways
By hiding away from what is the real world
But in fact it’s the real world if its part of us and we breath

If we think it, dream it or fantasise about it
Even though we cant touch it or see it
Does not mean that its not the real world

Because we make these thoughts and we want them
And we breath in the air around us and we are the real world
So every essence of us, isn’t that the real world also?

But I am sitting here in the dark listening to the tick
Wondering what to do
Wondering why time has stopped still

With the pain I’ve endured caught in the tear caught with time on my cheek
The pain may not be necessary
But I chose this path and it saddens me when the foundations I walk crumble

My laughter left with the wind
My tears tapped and turned on
My heart pounding, bruising with each beat against the prison wall
My head on a tornados path, for all destruction
My mouth doing as it pleases

I’m sitting there watching my self as time stops
The tick tick tick tock
And I know what I see I did was wrong and what I will, it will be wrong

But all in all, I am human and this is me

Sunday 27 June 2010

Dedicated to a true friend, and a path maker!


So some of you who have read my writing, know a little about me. But I want to talk briefly about some one I know whom I admire a lot.

I once met a woman, who grew up with my father. And as we all know we don’t care much about the important things when were younger, but we do grow to notice them and wonder and of course want to know about them. What I didn’t know then that I do now, is that she is an amazing person. Not because what happened to her, or who she is or even who she is with me but all of it and not even the latter.

To hear of some ones pains and to see who they turned into by choice is amazing, and then when you see them use there pain and experiences to do something they truly feel will help others is amazing. But the thing is just because some one feels its helping others doesn’t mean it is, but when you see that they are helping others that’s the amazing thing.

I owe a lot to this person, seeing what she has become, and to see what she is doing with her life. It is that path many of us should take, but so little do. Its not hard no matter what has been done to us, to choose a path to help others. We need to help each other, not all get the help that is offered to others, but it does not stop those that don’t receive it to be an amazing person.

Id like to dedicate this to the person its about, you are an amazing person Nicci. Never let any one tell you different, and I hope more people follow in the footsteps you have taken. I know we don’t speak as much as we should. But you are very much loved, specially by me.

Fading away


Finally obtaining that essence I once had
Obtaining the courage to step forward
To finally run after walking an eternity

But when I stumble how will I run again
Bruised and bleeding
Emptiness as my attempts drain the courage I found

When I stumble
Why wont you help me
Why wont you show me the way

You don’t even try to hold my hand

I’m loosing the strength to run
I’m loosing the will to see where I was going

I knew where I was going and I knew how to run
But when I fell and kept falling I cried your name out

Your standing there watching, while I bleed
While I bruise

All I need if your help because I’m dazed and I’m scared

Please take my hand
Help me up
Bring me what I need to stop bleeding

don’t show me the way

Help me find it because the door I opened is closing
Fear is setting in and the wolves are after me
The fire in the sun is fading

I don’t want this to be it, but if it is
What you see happening is me
And I’m fading

Saturday 26 June 2010

Marriage


Since my friends sisters wedding, I’ve been thinking more and more about the future. That old tradition that seemed to die off but then flourish again. Still not as it used to be. Years ago marriage meant something. It meant that you were with that person, for there morals, there aims, there ability to look after and support. Our society has changed indeed, the way we view people and peoples abilities are different now. But I know that love was not the reason for marriage once upon a time. It was to keep the name of a family, to enrich a family, to carry on a monarch, to rise social status. It was about society and a families name and riches surviving, however rich or poor that family was. Still this carried on. But became more lax, But love was never what we took into account here. What has changed, why has the tradition changed so much? Before we learned to love the person we married, now we must love the person to marry. But what is the difference aside from this? It used to be death do us part, now its divorce when things get rough, has the change in our society really changed this tradition so much? Women are no longer restricted to the house, restricted to speak when spoken to. We have more power and increasingly more. But is this also part of the reason?

What I don’t understand solely, is that we marry now for love and wanted to announce this to the world. We want people to know that we are with this person to death do us part, but how do we let an old tradition that has changed to our society and our view, a piece of paper that does not mean what it once did, change our relationship? Is it the backward was we now treat it from our original tradition. When a couple announces there love, we date, we live together and then we have children or get married then children, but statistics prove that there is a said % that get divorced. It shows that there is a status change in our own minds.

The question is, why do these exchange of vows and rings make such a difference to our relationship?

Friday 25 June 2010

Peace be with those effected by the Cumbria shootings


It has been some time, along time. Too long that i have spoken here or expressed my self. As a lot of you know of the recent tragedy that hit England not so long ago. Darkness fell upon Cumbria tragically, lives were lost and lives shattered. Being there my self, being close was horrible enough. I would like to thank every ones for the support we have received, the kind words and the warmth. Its not only affected us but the rest of the country. My thoughts are with the families and friends of the victims and the victims there self. I hope that they have hands to hold on there journey. Peace be with you all including the Bird family.

The walk we take!


When we walk the same path over and over again
Why still do we loose our way
Our foot prints lost in the earth, no trace of where we walked before

When do we become to realise the path
When can we walk it without confusion
When do we walk it without the pain in our feet

Will we ever ask some one to take the walk with us
Understand the journey we are taking over and over
Show others what we see, what we feel on this walk

Will the path become easier as we walk it more
Will we take a new one, change where we go
Why do the seasons never change

I’ve walked alone along this cold and wintered path
Too long along loosing my foot steps, without a map to aid me
But can I let you come with me or take me to a new one

When I have took a new path, the next one hasn’t been easier
Just different

When you don’t have the strength to walk the path each day
Why would you let some one walk it with you
To see what you do, to feel what you do

Maybe it is meant to be that we walk alone
By our choice or not

But thank you for wanting to walk it with me
But I don’t know where I walked before

I just stumble here each time I wake, each time I walk out the door
I was here before, I am here now, I will be here tomorrow