Ruins

Sat in my dark little quite world
Some one, tall dark and mysterious
Venturing around, shinning his flashlight
Stirring the darkness
Architecture unfolding, observed, documented
That new sound, unfamiliar and annoying
Familiarly becoming wanted, an undieing echo
Becoming
Light let in, the ruins
No longer dark and dusty
Still wandering these once lonely darkened ruins
chiseling at the still uncovered areas
Hitting the wrong place, using the wrong tools
All the progress, all that was
Crumbles
Light fades once again

When does it all go wrong? When all seems so calm and collected and figured out. When you know what is right and wrong. When the things go the way they are supposed to, but never turn out the way they should. How can life be so simple but so confusing and complicated. The smallest of things that should be so smooth. Go so wrong, become a long bumpy ride filled with endless pain.

Me

I feel very lost and alone in this world because of my daily struggles Waking up and seeing my self in the mirror is hard I know I don't need any one to make me happy, but I know that I cant make my self happy I have come to the admittance that I will never be HAPPY I may feel a slight sparkle try and force out of the darkness for the split second that it shines I will most likely cherish those moments even tho I know that the daily pain will darken out the light and I will have this hanging over my life but I take some light into me knowing that I can help people no matter how hard and dark I am!

The angel that marked me!

Walking away wasn't the hardest part.
Walking away from the person I have truelly loved the most was.
Saying the final good bye, however long that it took.
It would of been less painful to shoot my self in the head.
Walking away knowing how in pain he was, he still is.

Lost, confused and not knowing who he is.
Once he was my confidant, my soul and best friend, I truelly wish that i could be this to him now in his time of need.
Now I don't know who he is, after so much, being lovers to strangers.

The first time he kissed me, it was a touch from the heavens.
The first time he hugged me was like being home.
The first time he made love to me, I felt like a virgin.

If I hadn't of walked away, what would of become of us?
Two lost souls wandering together but so far apart.

When I closed the door to my heart and handed him the key, I knew he wouldn't open the door.
He lost the key the first time and wouldn't fight the door down.

When I turned around I knew I had ripped his heart out.
Was it so bad for me to make him make that choice? To choose and decide how its going to be?
I have wished he had walked away from me!
For me to suffer by his hands would be far less painful for both that for him to suffer by mine.

I wish to heal his heart and soul, be the priest I once was, strong for others but not my self.
But understand this, only he can heal him self.
I want to love him, I do love him.
I have let him go, as that is all I can do!

I hope that he knows that he was and still is my true love.
I love his faults and problems and the distance in every way made no difference to me. He was my confidante, my soul mate, my best friend. He is my fallen angel

Wandering souls!

I think that right now, as i sit here talking and writing and thinking the majority of the world are hurting for some reason how ever small are big it may be. Maybe not even a majority but people fuss and worry over so much with out realising that they need to find them selves and be found before they can make a difference for them self and to others. We all need to find our selves, being lost forever is the worst possible thing. Its horrible that you may never find who you are, that you may find who you are with in your last breaths. We are all lost souls at one point waiting and wondering and learning.

"A person who is so strong but so weak, some one who can smile and laugh but there eyes are so sad even when they smile which opens up there soul to see a shattered soul wandering waiting to be found" Quoted by Laura Ireland

Nighting gale

"A priest with warm healing hands but who is lost wandering the heavens not knowing where to go them selves but to the ones that need her self, never seeing to her own wounds to heal!" Quoted from Laura Ireland

To those out there that wander this world, missing there self and caring for others before there self for what ever reasons that they neglect them selves. Please take a moment to hold your self and cry. Drop the strain of your shoulders and let some one hold your hand for once.

Admitance

I feel very lost and alone in this world because of my daily struggles
waking up and seeing my self in the mirror is hard
I know I don't need any one to make me happy
But i know that I cant make my self happy
I have come to the admitance that I will never be HAPPY I may feel a slight sparkle, try and force out of the darkness for the split second that it shines
I will most likelly cherish those moments even tho I know that the daily pain will darken out the light